A relationship is one of life's greatest gifts and pleasures. The break up of a relationship is one of life's greatest disappointments and heartaches. Getting over that break up is definitely a lot easier said than done. Many people fall into the trap of trying to get over an ex by starting to date someone new. This is what is called in the dating world a rebound. For several reasons a rebound is not a good idea, as a general rule.
The first reason is that usually when people date someone on the rebound, they are trying to replace their ex. The next reason is that if you realize you are not over your ex, you can end up hurting the person you just started dating. Another reason is that moving on with a new person right away doesn't allow you to truly heal. The first reason that dating on the rebound is not usually a good idea is that when you find someone new, you have a tendency to try to replace your ex right away, rather than just find someone to spend time with. You could unwittingly be mistaking residual feelings about your ex for feelings toward a new person.
Many times, a rebound relationship will go too far too quickly. You might find yourself in a serious relationship before you realize what is going on. A quick and immediate serious relationship right after the demise of a serious relationship is definitely not a good thing.
Another reason rebound relationships are an emotional hazard is because if you realize that you are not over your ex and want to end your new relationship, it can wreak havoc with the feelings of the new person you are dating. You have thus proceeded to, whether intentionally or not, break the heart of your new companion. Leading someone on when you are still hooked on or hurt from another relationship is definitely not a nice thing to do. One more reason to take your time getting back into the dating scene is that most people need time to heal after a long term relationship ends.
Moving on immediately can be emotionally unhealthy. It is always a good idea to immerse yourself in spending time with friends and family that care about you, but moving on to a different dating partner may not be the best thing. Besides spending time around people who care about you, get to know yourself as a single person. You may have been part of a couple for a long time. Get to know who you are as an individual again.
For these reasons, it is clear that dating on the rebound is not a bright idea. There are many things that can go wrong when you jump straight from one relationship immediately into another. Instead of rebounding into a relationship that may not be healthy, stop, take a deep breath, and spend some quality time with yourself. Think about when you think you will feel comfortable in a new relationship. Think about whether you even want another serious relationship in the near future or whether you want to spend time with many different people for awhile. Think about the kind of person you would want to be in a relationship with.
Just take time out for you instead of getting trapped into the emotion hazard of rebounding.
Kelly Church's websites offers break up poems and advice. Also provided are great romantic and fun date ideas and advice on knowing the right time to break up and end a bad relationship.
