The bondage between the grandparents and their grandchildren is a peculiar one. The children of the grandparents who also play the role of the parents of their children, in this competitive world, find absolutely no time to devote adequately either to their parents or to their children. As a result, the grandparents and their grandchildren develop a mutually beneficial relationship.
The grandparents have always been playing a prominent role in bringing up their grandchildren. They provide utmost care to the children right from their birth; especially the babies and the toddlers would be taken care of with special efforts put in by them. In turn, the grandchildren offer the grandparents the much-needed solace and the joy of constructive pastime. Thus the relationship between the two is highly admirable and adorable.
Nearly half of the people are getting divorced in the UK, thanks to the drastic changes in the lifestyle and family values. Children are the worst sufferers due to the separation of their parents. Suddenly a vacuum is created in the emotional quotient of the children due to loss of affection and attention of their parents.
This vacuum is effectively filled in by the love and care of the grandparents. When the parents opt for a separation agreement, rather than the parents, the children will have greater pain and anguish. Sometimes, after the separation agreement has been made, the grandparents, usually paternal, are likely to lose their contact with the grandchildren completely or else the frequency of contact would become irregular. However, still grandparents have larger scope to help the children to come out of the misery as early as possible. After the separation agreement comes into force, they will try to help out the children to adhere to the new family circumstances. But most of the times they would be called upon to provide support and comfort for their grandchildren.
In a way, the grandparental care of the children often eases out the couple from tension and stress that may bother their minds, if there is no one to nurture their children after the execution of the separation agreement. The relationship between grandparents and their grandchildren will become closer after separation agreement and divorce. The grandchildren need the warmth of the grandparents on those days of psychological turbulence. Around three million children have experienced the separation of their parents. Every year more than 1, 50,000 couples are getting separated.
When the couples agreed to the terms and drew a separation agreement and the process is handled well, at least, the adverse effect on children could be minimised. Instead if the process of separation itself goes astray and there is a parental conflict, that would have a greater impact on children. Though parents have signed up the separation agreement and severed the relationship, it is not that all their problems are solved. They have many reasons to be upset and disturbed thus preventing them from taking care of the children and addressing their concerns. But grandparents with their experience could guide their grandchildren better. Though they might also be deeply saddened because of the drift between their son or daughter and daughter-in-law or son-in-law, they cleverly hide their unhappiness for the sake of their grandchildren.
Grandparents have a few legal rights to access their grandchildren and, sometimes, they may also be left with no choice of contact with them. However, making the children to come to terms is purely in the hands of the grandparents. Without allowing the children to ask unnecessary queries to their parents regarding their separation agreement, the grandparents would bring up the children gradually.
Many researches among the divorced families have revealed that the grandchildren have warm relationship with their grandparents. Often, the separation agreement would cause havoc in the children's mind. The adverse changes in their character and decline of their performance level in the schools can be arrested when the grandparents look after them. The relationship between grandparents and children is mutually satisfying and beneficial and it also helps to forget the ill-effects of separation agreements. The grandparents virtually become surrogate parents to the grandchildren after divorce. The relationship also offers them an opportunity for emotional integration.
In many cases, the relationship between grandchildren and grandparent is disappearing. It is not a matter of choice, but it largely depends on the ongoing relationship they have with the parents of the grandchildren. However, if they have better relationship, then even when their offspring are unhappy with the signing of separation agreements, the grandparents can bring up the grandchildren without much distraction.
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a Separation Agreement, see http://www.separation-agreement.co.uk
